1. |
Gassed
01:13
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fuck, I’ve been writing the same thing
20 years or maybe more
something hasn’t clicked
or has it? will it? is this even real?
or is it just the same tired loop that I create?
so is this in my head? I know I already said this
I’m not making sense or am I? do I? do you care to see?
or is it just me? saying the same old shit to myself?
here’s a reminder, just in case you forget…
we all deserve to feel whole
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2. |
Lukewarn
02:29
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bite my nails and scratch my face
this shit seems never ending
moving through, not moving on
clench my fists I can’t go on
like this, not like this
we’re helping satiate the pig
don’t fight this, not like this
it’s so hard to not admit defeat
we get so tired
of coming up short
and we haven’t planned
to live long enough to fix it
but we all still don't have a chance
we’re embarrassed
every misuse of funds is managed
by billboards who fill us
with all but a few drops of mistrust
now they start to notice
we’ve been saying the things
they don’t want us to say, to see
so tirelessly we believe
back to where we caught the rabbit
we don’t look like the villain they had when
land was burned into ash
and we blew into the blaze
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3. |
Fever Dream
01:49
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we were in it
like a fever dream
like liquid looking for a cracks in the seam
I said your name aloud into a black room with no walls
but was it even a room at all?
I made my bed by the lion’s den
and put my fate fully in her mouth
I made sure that no one knew how deep it grew
and no news is good news
what we love isn’t supposed to hurt us
what we don’t speak about isn’t real
who you love is gonna kill ya
what we don’t speak about we can feel
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4. |
Blitz Kids Stay Sick
01:26
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a threatening look plagiarized from a textbook
it comes as no surprise, overexposed and overbooked
I’m sorry that you’re feeling broken
I’m feeling broken too
the world’s unraveling around us
more than ever, we need something true
I need something true
and still you’re, “talking about staple shit”
with spite we indict the counterfeit
nothing to say, but I guess you say it the right way
it’s getting hard to tell the predator from the prey
it’s always been
truncheons, tear gas,
flags flown at half mast
Selma to the West Bank,
Johannesburg to Belfast
we explain to our daughters why disorder’s in the forecast
that’s why we put your program on blast
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5. |
||||
see the water washing over
bodies that we’ve laid to rest
while telling stories to the eager ear will only hurt my credibility in the end
and as it sits I cannot sit or take a breath much less than gasp
with every truth that burns a fire in my chest
now I’m older by the number
they told me it’s be easy once I left
is it even any wonder
that we count our days at rest
we count our days
and if it’s any consolation
I’ve been having trouble sleeping
when I’m alone I am lonely without someone to console me
tell me that you’re so relieved I’m still alive
but I’m alive because of you, because you told me to
just stay around just stay awake
and with this chapter that I write I really can’t afford to wait
to take a walk and on that walk to take a breath
to feel the cold air in my chest
and how I know even though knowing always hurts me in the end
keep on going by the numbers
they told me it’d be easier if I’d left
is it even any wonder why we count our days at rest?
we count our days
if you’re sorry say it now and if you meant it let it rest
take one last final number
they told me it’d be easy if I left
is it even any wonder
why we count our days til death
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6. |
||||
putting all the pieces into places that we need them
we don’t have to understand them
we just want to make sense of this mess that’s ours
wait or is it? is it his or mine or ours or theirs or hers
maybe it’s the last one who’s left standing holding onto bloody remnants
of what we had
of what was lost
or what we now owe
take this trash you stole and bring it back to those who know
how to care for something so broken it’s impossible to fix
trying not to make amends
that’s the same as admitting guilt
for all your crimes
we wouldn't dare apologize
but finally our acceptance might begin to shine a light on how to see
just how fucked we wouldn’t be
if we’d listened from the start
if we hadn’t come at all
buying everything we can to soothe the burn
it’s the least we can’t do or the most we can
but every little secret has it’s place in making peace with what we’ve ruined
it’s all so complicated
born with the guilt of generations hated
we’re all to blame for taking
what we never had the right to claim
we’re all to blame for this
stop and admit we’re all complicit
there's blood on your hands
the rivers too dry to wash them
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7. |
Bobby
01:25
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is anybody in here?
I’ve been looking for my brother
she said he disappeared before he was even born
but I see him every night by the fire
with his
temper
failure
find me a second chance
I’ve really ruined my first
my youth is dead and gone
I am my father’s son
bet the queen against the crown
trouble has found me,
just like you did
wear it like an open wound
covered and protected
save it like an open wound seeping and infected
now lick it like an open wound but feel no shame
don’t you dare let them see you bear your weight unevenly
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8. |
Carry Us
03:11
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call your favorite bookmarked savior
your patient blessed neighbor
the one who made you that nice warm pie
and would he carry us now?
stop the cops from coming, Amy
don’t you see this isn’t what we’re saying
can’t we just settle this like grown men
with our hammers and fists now?
I promise we’ll do better
promises are like a wet dog in here
stinking up the place but he’s sure cute and sweet and helpless
pity on us all now
I promise we mean better
we just keep getting our hands caught in the honey jar
leaving those sticky fingerprints on every surface
I'm so sorry for the mess we keep making
pity on us all now
you pick your own fight, don’t you
like a marked man, yeah, you’re a marksman
you got your ducks all in a row
line ‘em up and shoot ‘em
they're so proud of you, Harold! look at you go!
now take your prize and leave
a little trophy never mattered much for anyone
and if we let them pick their end date
we’ll remove the labels and watch the fruit rot on the table
pity on the world now
buy your worth
it's all we know
would you sell your soul
to the highest bid
buy it back for tenfold
it’s all we know
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9. |
Destined
02:19
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feet are up on the oak wood desk
it’s a privilege we always imagined
it’s a story written for us to read back to us
make it more attractive
fool me and make me think I earned it
make it shine then cover it in dirt
fool me and make me think I found it
the books on the shelf are all covered in dust and
all those words, they don’t amount to much
unless I finally fucking say them
an uncomfortable resemblance
gratuitous acceptance
you know I’d be lying if I said
I’d decline your offer
make me more attractive
fool me and make me think I’m wanted
make me shine, wash off my dirt
fool me and make me think that I could
look like them if I’d just wash my hands
just wash your hands
now I’m so drenched in sanctity
i’m practically the fucking pope
feet are up on the oak wood desk
it’s a privilege we always imagined
it’s a story written for us to read back to us
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10. |
Everything
02:27
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I want to know everything about everything and
I want to be good at everything I do
I want to know everything everyone else knows
maybe I want to be god?
or in the very least considered smart?
idiot
take a seat
find me in the back raising my hand
skip right over me
I want to feel how it feels to be listened to
i’m motivated but discouraged easily
I want to see everything everyone else sees
when they look at me and think, “they have it easy”
idiot
get some sleep
find me in my room, it’s 3am
I’m doing better, I guess
compared to what?
compared to when?
an attic apartment
a room for rent
a vacancy in my head
it’s all in my head
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11. |
Wolf
02:08
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cry wolf when he’s here
lock jaw and sharp teeth
fight back until he’s dead
wait, is this really happening?
I’m listening to your call
every detail is important to know
to monitor you closely is to know you
this is how they hunt you
this is how they love you
cry wolf, she smells your fear
don’t make a sound at all
hide out until she’s gone
wait, is this really happening?
eye on the prize
eyes burn the back of my head
I can feel it as it wells up inside
feel trapped like they prey that I’ve become
this is how they haunt you
this is how they love you
could you give me all of your love?
could you give me all that you love?
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Open City Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Open City is:
Daniel Yemin
Chris Wilson
Rachel Rubino
Andy Nelson
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